Our Senior Editor knows that I’m a sucker for any exercise gimmick – so when a PR rep emailed her about “Hot Pants – proven to make you lose 4x the weight,” I had a pair on my desk lickity split. These pants are anything but hot in terms of aesthetics; but step into these biker britches and you’re cooking in no time flat. The material feels like a beer coozie, and is made to squeak right over your saddle bags, pull over your fanny and rest firmly under your boobies. They really couldn’t be more flattering.
I debuted my Hot Pants this morning during my regular Tuesday spin class. I think it’s fair to say that I’ve never been one to wear designer workout gear, or really anything more acceptable than say, pants to the gym – so these were actually an upgrade. But I think it was the oversized, neon yellow “Hot Pants” emblem that really set them apart. That, and the fact they clung to my body like an encased sausage and made an airy swooshing sound when I moved.
Have I noticed any weight loss or a more toned physique? Not yet. Did I notice the half-cup of sweat that had accumulated after taking off my tighty shorts? Oh, I did.
The photo below is taken at the office. As you can see, my level of shame had not quite hit the all-time low.
bread and butter 